This week in our Tuesday house group, we reflected on Isaiah 49 and 50 by contemplating on it, and then proceeding to write a poem. Writing poetry helps us think, articulate, and conjure our reflections in a way that is free, creative, and expressive.

What you see here is our thoughts, put on paper, expressed through words, deeply personal and uninhibited. For that reason, we chose to make each one anonymous. They are, in essence, meditations of the heart.

Sometimes, I wake up with regret to start my day
sometimes, I start and pray for a hopeful day
asking God to help me go through the motions.

I think alone
about what is to come
or analyze what went wrong.
Could I have said something more
so they could’ve known how I felt?
I bottle it up inside and
it lingers.
I know how I feel, but do they?
If you could only understand
how I want to be reached out to.

Saved, loved, accepted.
The Lord has forsaken me.
I’ll not forget you!

In pain and torment I cried out
and in the silence, came the dreadful doubt
to my dismay, I saw myself waste away
the consequence of a payment I couldn’t pay

And yet like a mother you came to me
broke the chains and set me free
to run and conquer and bring the light
the love of God that sets everything right.

There are happy times.
Times of being loved, of comfort
of being secure and being protected.
Times of belonging.

I can do anything, be anybody
I have infinite amounts of enthusiasm and
Times of promise.

There are sad times.
Times of trouble, of despair,
of being hurt and being
Times of confusion.

I fail miserably, shout out loud!
I despise my circumstance and
lose faith, mostly in myself.
Times of darkness.

After every dusk, there is dawn.
It happens every time
without fail.
Flowers spring from the ground
at the first sign of winter’s deadlock easing.
It is for sure.
Happy and sad, time moves forward
and I am heading into morning.

I wonder how a mother or father cannot love
the child they bear?
I wonder why a child feels like he
does not have a purpose?

Do they not realize he is a miracle?
Does he not realize purpose was given
to him before he was born?

Though a mother and father may forget,
God will not forget those hebrought
into this world.

To you who are hopeless,
put your hope in the Lord and He
will not disappoint.
Do not wallow in your darkness and
wonder where God is. God is light.
And while you cannot control where the light
comes from, you can control how
much light comes in.

Let it in, then you
will find purpose.

Ravaged, ruined, rejected
Damaged, distraught, dejected
Battered, bruised, bereft of comfort

A pillow, a blanket, a warm embrace
Here, there is none in the dark, this lonely one
Pain, He becomes; His frame, overrun; His life to be unspun

No pillow, no blanket, no warm embrace in this empty, lonesome space
To look death in the face, and overcome
In quiet strength and grace
Deep within a trace

Of flint
To make sparks

I work hard and gain nothing from the earth,
The Lord is my reward, He shows me what is of worth,
Being a blessing to other Christians is noble indeed,
But God calls us to bless non-believers and plant the seed,
Has your mother forgotten you? Have you forgotten her?
God will never forget you for his love always endures,
If anyone messes with you they mess with the Lord,
And no one wants to mess with the Lord,
Do not think God is too weak for He will show you his strength,
Walk in the dark and do not fear,
Trust in God, He is always near.

Birthday Brunch for Jesus

This year’s Christmas worship will turn into a big birthday brunch to celebrate the birth of Jesus. We’ll have a handful of friends from the Victorians coming over and celebrating the fact that there really is HOPE in this world… and it begins in Jesus.

The house communities will divvy up the potluck duties – so check in with your house community. But there should be plenty of food, so bring your buddy and your grandma and come on out to celebrate this Christmas together.

Le Petit Trianon Theatre
72 North Fifth St. – UPSTAIRS
San Jose – 95112
9:55am  – SUNDAY – December 20th

Question to ponder for this Sunday… “How have you seen new birth in your life this past year?”

More info? Contact us at info[at]ihaven.org.


<from Warren>

Hey All,

In the spirit of Lisa B.’s message in July, I have been asking myself the profound, simple question…

“Is Jesus enough for me?”

This song is a meditation on that question.  My hope is that you can relate.  And if you can’t, no problem… the question then flips: “If Jesus weren’t enough for you, what would be enough for you?”  A spiritual searching, taking stock of your life… embrace a bit of healthy reflection today.


could i hold on if it all came down?
would i choose you if there were no one else?
did you die and rise to prove your love
is enough, is enough, is enough…

this gospel calls me to die to self
oh help me see this is my truest wealth
to be loved by you if no one else
is enough, is enough, is enough, is enough…

your grace for when i’m weak
your mercy as i stray
your heart will never leave
your word will never break


download the song here.
photo taken by kyx.

Don’t Forget… [Easter 2009]

It was a full and fruitful Easter weekend – each of our house communities celebrated Good Friday with a traditional Passover Seder dinner… the dinner many Jewish families traditionally celebrate during Passover and the last meal Jesus had with his disciples before he went to the Cross. We don’t have a lot of pictures because I think people were busy participating. But we learned how Jesus used the Passover Seder to foreshadow what he would do on the Cross… to bring freedom and hope to a dying world.

Easter Sunday was a full day starting with a sunrise worship hike at 6:30am @ Montgomery Hill in San Jose.


As we walked the trail, we recounted Jesus’ journey to the Cross and the moments after the resurrection. We realized though we celebrate Easter every year, we so easily forget the freedom, joy and victory that was achieved on the Cross and in the resurrection. That we no longer need to let the guilt, the shame, the anger, the fear hang over us anymore. It no longer separates us from God [because of what Jesus did] and we have the freedom/power to reconcile with others. That’s huge.


We were also reminded that we need to spread the life we were given in Jesus. We weren’t meant to keep it to ourselves, but to give it away as freely and often as possible: both the truth and the love. 

Afterwards, it was time for brunch at the Hom’s… and as always, it was time to feast… waffles, hash browns, enchiladas [I think], bacon and lots of other stuff. It’s taken time, but we’ve all grown to be family together… we’ve cried together, celebrated together, worked out issues together. And the fruit of all that was a simple pleasure we all shared as we sat, ate, laughed and reminisced. Lisa jumped in to make waffles, new girls-friends were made to feel at home, Alan taught Billy how to chop wood and we all took naps on the couch. Real family is hard to come by – and it was a blessing from God that morning.


We finished our Easter Sunday with lunch with our friends at the Victorians. The Victorians are boarding houses for many who are formerly homeless and have some form of mental illness. We’ve had a long relationship with our friends there and Billy and Leo took care of bringing buffalo wings and hot dogs to share. It has not always been easy when we’ve done this in the past. We’ve had to get over our own uncomfortableness; learn how to talk to people who are not like us [at all]. And learn to love by just showing up. 

After several years of sporadically spending time there, I think we can say that they are our friends [or more like they’re gracious to consider us their friends]. It’s true that they give us more than we give them. Sure we bring all the food, but they remind us that God loves them just as much as he loves us… just because we’re a little cleaner, have jobs, have gone to school doesn’t make us any more loved and them any less loved. They teach us about the Gospel every time we go. 


Thanks folks for a rich Easter season – until next time [though lunch with the Vic’s will happen again soon].

Easter 2009

In case you were wondering what’s happening Easter weekend for us:

April 10th – Good Friday – Seder Dinner in House Communities

Each House Community will be doing their own Passover Seder dinner. It’s the dinner Jesus celebrated with his disciples before he went to die on the cross the next day. Invite friends – and if you’re not a part of a house community feel free to join up with any of them. Contact info@ihaven.org for more info.

April 12th – Sunrise Worship – Lunch w/the Victorians – Gardening w/the Girls

EDIT: Gardening w/Advent Girls is POSTPONED

>> Sunrise Worship [6:30am] @ Montgomery Hill Park, San Jose – Meet at the base where you can park your car @ 6:30am and we’ll hike up together. The parking lot is actually a shared parking lot with Evergreen Valley College. See link above for exact location.

After our sunrise worship to celebrate the resurrection of Jesus, we’ll split off to connect and serve two groups of people that we’ve been friends with for the past few years:

>> Lunch w/the Victorians [11:00am] - The Victorians are the three Victorian homes located next to LPT. They are boarding homes that house persons who were formerly homeless and with mental illness. We will bring lunch over and spend some time together with our friends there. Meet in front of LPT [72 North 5th St., San Jose] @ 11am. We need at least 6-8 people to help with this – contact info[at]ihaven.org.

>> Gardening w/Advent [POSTPONED to MAY] - We have been connecting with a group home for girls who have a history with drug/alcohol abuse. We’ll be going over to help plant a small flower/vegetable garden in the back yard with the girls. We need at least 3-4 people to help with this – if you’re interested with this contact info[at]ihaven.org and let us know that you’re coming and are interested. We need “RSVP’s” for this one.